Clarity

Spending one week in Darwin has filled my mind with peace and direction-I feel like I can breathe again. Staying at Deb's right next to the botanic gardens was wonderful-I  had space to walk and think almost completely uninterrupted- space to allow the noise and clutter in my mind to fall away with each footstep that drew me deeper into a lush, tropical oasis. I found clarity.

Who am I other than a single mum struggling on part pension? Am I failing because my current circumstances often mean my girls can't do all they desire- even though these desires are healthy and could lead to a rich and fulfilling future with skills and talents they currently don't posses. What is my purpose in life? Am I doing enough, or is it too much?

Keep walking, keep soaking in this serene space. Absorb the calm. Clarity comes with ease apon surrender.

I want to write. Peace fills me once again. I enjoy being alone to create and need to seek solace surrounded by trees, nature, water and a clear, non-human inhabited space to connect with my God. This restores my soul, ignites my imagination, fills me with hope.

I need to explore- it makes me come alive. I can't always travel on a whim, but learning is exploration. I get that- and I like it. It isn't a consolation prize, but an exciting endevour on its own.

I head off the track and find myself meandering around raised garden beds. I think of how nice they would look on my own property someday. In that instant, I clearly see a future snapshot of my gorgeous grandchildren running through Nanna's magic garden. Tangible serenity wraps me like a silk blanket. Yes, I would love that life. And I would love a place where others, stressed as I before this break, could come, relax, be fed and emotionally recharge before heading back to cope with this life we all have to endure at times, a life that can make us weary.

What a wonderful future. What a wonderful present. What an amazing revelation. Clarity.

I am not a failure- I am exploring. And the journey is exhilarating! My girls are on an amazing journey too- they are not missing out, nor will they.

Driving back from Katherine Gorge with Deb, we stopped at a little roadhouse. It didn't look much from out front. Inside, however, it's true beauty was revealed. A stunning wife and her husband had taken over this place and were creating an oasis for long distance drivers, mainly road-trainers and workers. Her beauty captivated me, as did the dedication she put into the gardens, the toilets, her customers.

I marvelled at this, mainly because only those travelling down this particular road would ever get to enjoy the warmth, friendly service and homely dedication this couple offered. Yet they did it with immense joy and satisfaction. They were living their best lives, and all who did happen to chance by would be blessed by that if for no other reason. When we are ourselves, live out of that, people can only be impacted by us in a way that leaves them feeling the better for having met us. I left feeling that way, and not just because they serve great food! What a valuable life lesson in the Territory!

I loved my time away. People were so friendly, open and warm. After living in impatient-ville, that in itself was refreshing. Try and take longer than 10 seconds to put your change away at a supermarket register and look at the daggers you get! 'Hurry, rush, get out of the way, me next' all fell away for one wonderful week and left me wanting more. However, as a compromise, maybe I can live that relaxed way and start my own trend. I'll try. I want what the trip gave me. Yep, you guessed it, clarity.

Talk soon all x